The baby is asleep. Hubby is asleep. I've just got in from dropping my daughter off at school. The house is silent. I decided to grab this opportunity because I don't know when another chance will present itself to me today. My days are so unpredictable. At least while hubby studied I knew I had the days. He'd be out of the house four days a week. I began to accomplish a lot on those days. I'd settled in with the baby and began to feel more capable to achieve other goals. It was one reason I joined up with this Boot Camp.

While I knew what I wanted to do, I also needed a sense of accountability to achieve it. But when hubby has no routine, or no regular job to go to, my days simply has to suffer. He doesn't mean to take over. I think it's just a male thing, being the dominant sex and all. I've had to learn how to be assertive. For a long time I wasn't. I simply put up with being there as the constant companion sitting with him while he watched TV, but I grew bored. I can only take so much.

For a while I did puzzles or crafts, such as knitting and crochet. I still do those while I sit with hubby in the evenings. It's difficult for me to do absolutely nothing. Since I've had the baby, though, I've gotten back in touch with this ability. At times there's just so much happening, to actually sit and stare into space for a while feels very good. This just sitting around, though drew me to want to do other things. I'd go out of a Thursday night once a month to the writing centre I joined. Hubby didn't really want me to go, but he could hardly complain. Besides, I was going no matter what he said.

This is what I mean about assertive. Whenever I do voice my opinion, let him know what I'm trying to achieve, he's on my side. He does a lot for me. Many guys wouldn't put up with it. He's the kind of guy who does his best to accommodate my needs, but he's no psychic. I do have to speak it out. Sometimes I think women tend to expect too much of their men. I've been guilty of this. Whenever I do let him know what I want, he does his best to help me make it happen. But even if he didn't, I believe women need to speak up and not expect their loved ones to treat them like doormats.

It's all too easy to fall into the pattern of doing everything for everyone. They generally figure it out for themselves once they have to. I've made it easier on my lot by getting them used to me being busy out here anyway. The kids are generally more accepting of what you want to do than husbands, anyway. But once you know what you want to do you should let the family in on your plans. They want to support you in everything you do. You've given and given of yourself. It's not unreasonable to expect them to give back.

Night times and baby nap times are the only times I can get things done these days. I have written with the baby awake, and I still will whenever I can. It's writing with hubby and the baby awake that's difficult. I was putting him on the floor behind me in this study. But with hubby awake and walking around it gets too awkward with the baby there in the way. For me, it's not a hassle.

Anyway, this was kind of a raving on sort of entry. Hubby is now awake and eating breakfast. Bubby is still asleep, thankfully, and I can at least get this finished. This morning's task is to get hubby's CV updated.